Amazing thing happened to me today at Target

I was doing a quick shopping at Target this morning after dropping kids off at school.  At the checkout, I was embarrassed after the cashier told me my card was not working. I asked her to try it again but it declined again. I apologized to her and walked away empty handed but someone in front of me told me to turn around. As I turned, there was a woman who was behind me said, “I’ll pay for you” and of course, I was shocked. I told her, “You don’t have to” she said, “I want to.” Then I smiled and said “Thank you.” I was genuinely surprised and when I walked away, I knew it was Karma returning the favor. I have done something like this before and occasionally whenever I could, I would give some cash or food to people on the street. I have learned over the year that it is not our business to judge or assume about the other person or family going through difficult times because if you do not know the whole story then that does not give you the right to act like you are better than them.

“Assumptions is the mother of all screw ups” and it does not matter if Eugene Lewis Fordsworthe later said he felt conflicted with the quote.  I stand by what I think, when you do not know anything then you do not know anything at all. Period. Being kind to other people regardless their situation goes long way. Karma is watching and always working.

I had to edit my blog to  add this article because it is what I was saying in this blog.

Me as a Deaf woman and an aspiring actress: how did it all start?

Acting—to me is something I’ve always dreamed of since I was maybe 9 years old. I remember daydreaming that I’d be doing a kissing scene with Fred Savage and I was all shy at the aspect of us moving closer to kiss in the front of camera with everyone around us watching.  I’d envision me giggling and act goofy while him being sweet, patient and tried to help me to move past my inhibition.  I also remember imaging that I’d be hearing the director yell “cut” whenever something needed improvement. I wake up dreaming I’d be acting and go to sleep praying that one day I’d sitting somewhere in a theater watching myself in the big screen bursting with joy and all misty eyed while thinking to myself, “I did it!” According to my mom, at age 2 ½ doctors told my parents that I was hard of hearing because they noticed that I was lacking in speech. They recommended that since I have some hearing that I’d thrive well in a mainstream/ public school program. My parents wanted to send me to Deaf school instead but doctors were against it.  My parents obliged and eventually saw that I wasn’t thriving in that environment then my dad realized that their initial instinct were right so they pulled me out and enrolled me into Maryland School for the Deaf at age 4 and by 5 I had my first experience being on stage during the school Christmas program. It was because of that Deaf school, my passion of acting on stage began because every time I go on stage I feel alive. I was involved in every Christmas and spring play every year until I graduated from High School and I was in two plays during college too. Maryland School for the Deaf also empowered me to perform songs in American Sign Language. I often wondered if my parents weren’t Deaf, what would have my fate been with hearing parents? Would they have learned to sign? Would they be fluent in ASL?  Would I be as confident as I am today? Would I have graduated from High School and College? Most important question of all, what would I have been passionate about right now if it weren’t for my Deaf parents or the Deaf school I was sent to? Thank you Mom and Dad for ignoring those doctors because I doubt I would be better off than I am right now.

“Should I…no…I shouldn’t…”

That’s the thought that always goes on in my head when it comes to trying to get NK or Mariah’s attention at concerts or etc.

I’m always debating inside my head when I see one of them within few feet from me, “Should I join in the crowd & try to get them to see me?” and I always take the longest time to decide if I should or shouldn’t but then the crowd is just too large then I just give up and say “Nah, another time.” I don’t know why every time I really want to get close to them and just to have at least 10 seconds of interaction but I feel like I’m invading their space. Even if they’re on the clock and they’re there to interact with fans but I just always feel so uncomfortable approaching them.

On the cruise, I had to really force myself to ask for pictures because I knew I’d regret it if I didn’t do anything after the cruise was over.

I remember back in 1999 as I was about to go to Joe’s New Years Eve show during his first album era. My friend was telling me this, “Make sure you arrive at the venue really early just so you could be in the front, and if you do end up being few rows back from the stage, weave your way in and make sure you sign to his songs in sign language to get him to notice you and maybe he’ll pull you up on stage.” I told her, “Hell yea that’s what I’m gonna do!” but when the day came, I just couldn’t. I wasn’t in the front row but I had a really good spot and I did sign to some of his songs but it didn’t feel right to weave my way up to the front row. I remember leaving the venue afterward thinking, “Damn! What happened?! I’m normally gutsy & confident but why did I back out?”

I guess I have the tendency to over analyze situations while feeling concerned that I may come on too strong and they end up pushing me away then I feel rejected and hurt.

I’m going on NKOTB cruise again if there’s one. :)

I had wonderful time at the cruise. The guys were amazing and they were so sweet. During each events, I was always very close to the stage, either the front row or first 3 rows. Because of my Deafness, I was sectioned in an area with people in wheelchairs or any other physical issues. I had two sign language interpreters interpreting for me and they were amazing. Before the cruise, I checked their credentials and I felt satisfied because I knew they had plenty of experiences. These interpreters exceeded beyond my expectations and they both are now my lifetime friends! I love them!

Anyways, during the Sail Away party, Donnie came down to our section to give us kisses on our cheeks and hugged each of us. I thought it was really nice of him then Joe came and talked to one of the past cruiser. As he saw me while he was still talking to her, I asked him for a hug but I didn’t expect him to just get up and walk over right away to give me a hug. I told him, “Thank you.” He had this half smile, nodded and moved on to girls on my left then went around behind me.

During the Red carpet night, I got a picture with Danny which was really nice and he smiled  as I said “Thank you.”

At Half Moon Cay, Donnie came to our section to comfort a girl who had panic attack because she overheated in her wheelchair. Donnie was really sweet and nurturing as he would try to cool her down with his drink & his ices. Then he monitored the security to go and get Jon and then Jon came to the girl and he comforted her too. Jon talked to the girl and he made her laugh and then she felt better. I asked Earl if it would be ok if I had picture taken with Donnie and Jon because I wasn’t sure if it was appropriate due to the current situation. I didn’t want to ask Donnie & Jon during the time when they’re trying to comfort the girl. Earl said, “Yeah, you can but please sit in your seat and wait until they go around.” So I went back to my seat, and then luckily, Jon came to me and we got our picture together. I told Jon, “Thank you for signing my door decoration.” He said, “Ok, you’re welcome.” He had this amazing sweet smile and I thanked him for the picture. He seemed shy and chuckled as he walked away from me.  Donnie went around behind me giving each ladies interaction and then just as Donnie was starting to head for the crowd away from us. Earl told Donnie that I wanted a picture, and Earl told me to come over so I went over to Donnie. He seemed tense and I didn’t want our picture with him looking tense so I said to Donnie, “Do you know that you’ve got a beautiful smile?” He was REALLY confused and had this puzzled look on his face and said, “Yeah?” but it worked, cuz he smiled! *laughs*  Earl took our picture ,Donnie ended up being silly and I didn’t mind it though. 🙂

Cozy & cuddly movie night was one of the highlight night,  I had a t-shirt that I got from Joe’s 1999/2000 New Years Eve show in Boston at the Paradise Rock Club. Joe was busy signing autographs and it took him a little while to notice that I was “dancing” my t-shirt behind the rail by the edge of the pool near where the interpreter & the body guard were. When he finally noticed my shirt, he had this look, “When was this shirt from?” so he came to me and took the shirt from me, he stood there speechless and inspected my shirt for good 10 seconds (or maybe even more) then finally signed it. He had this incredulous look on his face when he looked down at me. I smiled and said, “I was there.” He gave me my shirt back and I gave him a letter that I wrote to him. He said, “Is this for me?” I nodded and as I was pulling my hand away, he had this look, “gimme your hand!” as he grabbed  my hand & held it tightly then said, “It is good to see you.” I was shocked and felt warm all over. I was truly touched because maybe it meant he remembered me from NYC (The J&R CD signing—I wrote a blog about it). I definitely didn’t expect him to remember me but it seems like he did. I smiled and said, “Same here.” he nodded with an half smile then let go of my hand as he moved on to a girl on my left.  I couldn’t sleep that night because I was really overwhelmed with this warmth & special moment with Joe. (If anyone got a picture or video of this please please send them my way or if you happen to have seen this somewhere, please help me out. Thanks!— I was using a black spaghetti nursing tank top w/ velvet maroon sweat pant)  Donnie and one of my interpreter (Molly) had their moment during the “PYT” and “Tonight I’m gonna fuck you”. You should see it somewhere on YouTube. Everyone found this quite entertaining including I. 🙂

Went shopping at Nassau & went to Atlantis’s aquarium. Tried to go to swimming but there were some problem with my card in Bahamas so I wasn’t able to go swimming. 😦 After the cruise and my card worked just fine in Miami. *shrughs* Oh well.

Danny’s BBQ was entertaining & informative. His hamburger was SO DELICIOUS! Donnie’s backrub was WOWie, then Jordan and then Joe in his sexy sizzling hot white tight underwear. I was drooling! HA!  I really wish I was on that table instead of that adorable girl who had this really cute LOUD giggling all the way through. She seemed disappointed when she realized Donnie wasn’t the one giving her the back rub. OOPS.

Remix night was fun and got a kiss on the cheek from Donnie again which was unexpected. Jon came around to talk to some of the girls and Danny also came around as he got some of his pictures taken. I quickly told Danny that I want some more of his hamburger, he laughed.  Joe & Jordan walked by later on & grabbed some of girls hand and also took some pictures.

Meet & greet experience was an interesting & confusing experience.  I had a group all set except for a Danny person for few months but it fell apart just 2 days before the cruise but found myself a new group within 5 minutes. Whew! On M&G day, I had several outfit that I couldn’t decide which one I wanted to use. I decided on a black blouse with glittery gold smiley face and tight dark blue jean. When I went down to meet my group but they had already replaced me with someone else and I was dumbfounded. But the funny thing is that, I wasn’t upset at all. I just went to the room to look for a new group and within a minute, I was in a new group. My blouse helped because people in the room immediately knew I was Joe’s girl. It was so amazing. The group was fantastic and I couldn’t have asked for a better group. Rose Tours made our group go to the front of the line because the RT wanted me to go first and it was actually nice but at the same time, I felt somewhat uneasy because a lot of folks were giving us dirty look. 😦  The group ahead of us were these gals in wheelchair, and they all had an individual picture with the NKOTB.  When the last girl in wheelchair had her turn, Donnie quickly bent Danny down and started to hump him doggy style. The girl and everyone else burst out into laughter because it was really hysterical.

Right before our group went to take our picture, we were told to go in, take our picture and leave immediately. When it was our time to take picture, I walked up to Joe and he had this loud “HIIIIIII” again and I laughed. He looked at me and just smiled as he pulled me by waist and then after picture, he said, “Make sure you say hi to everybody.” I stood there feeling overwhelmed with confusion then I tried to give everyone a hug & to say “Hi”  but the security was in a mad rush to get rid of us so I didn’t get the chance to.

Joe’s Duets at Dusk was amazing and truly touching.

GPS Love Fest night was another highlight for me because it was really sweet for me. I had another warm moment with Joe.  First, I wanted an individual picture with Jordan and Joe because I had already taken with Danny, Jon and Donnie.  So, I wrote down on a blank paper and said, ” Joe/Jordan, May I have an individual picture taken with you, please? Thanks in advance, =) ”   I was patient and waited until one of them came near to our section, and when Jordan came. He saw my paper and he pressed his lip and the bottom part of his lip puckered out as he nodded then he smiled mischievously and went to another girl and took her flag then walked back up to the stage. I thought to myself, “I guess not or maybe just not right now.” Then few minutes later, Jordan laughed and walked down, gave the girl her flag and walked to me. He was smiling mischievously, I was like, “That’s very nice!” and had my picture taken with him. I thanked him and he said, “You’re welcome” and gave me a hug then walked back up on stage.  Maybe about 30 minutes later, Joe was walking through our section and Joe was making eye contact with us and when he made eye contact with me and then he noticed my paper, he read it and had this really great sweet smile and he nodded and said “Yes!”. I stood up and he pulled me by waist and held me tightly. After picture, I told him, “Thank you so much!” He smiled & nodded as he looked into my eyes then walked away to get on the stage.  Donnie insisted my other interpreter (Sandy)  to sing to him in sign language and he was repeating after her. Really cute. Also on YouTube.

As I got off the boat and went to the hotel room but my room wasn’t ready until 3pm. I went to South Beach in Miami, had spf 50+ sunscreen on, and went swimming then laid down on the beach but OOPS, I fell asleep. A woman next to me woke me up and said, “I’m sorry but I had to wake you up because it looks like you’re badly burnt.”  I was and I had sun poisoning the next day. Right now, I’m shedding like a snake and my kids are very fascinated with it. *SMH* `

I told my Deaf friends about my experience and they wanna go. Really hope I will have at least 2 of my best friends going with me.

My cruise picture:

This entry was posted on May 28, 2013. 6 Comments

Answers from Block Nation members to comments regarding Cruise 2013 Anxiety (Sign Language Interpreters Dilemma)

I have received comments via inbox and on my blog about this issue. I want you to know that I appreciate your comments, ideas, feedback, assurances and even “Stop being so pessimistic cos there are million of BH (Blockheads) willing to help you out on the boat!” *chuckling*.

There are similar comments or suggestions that I saw on my previous blog so I’m going to answer them in here.
YIKES- You can try, but since this is a chartered boat, I think there are certain things they can not do and you may get a response of “you’ll have to provide your own.” Doesn’t hurt to ask though. Good luck!

NicholeLuvNKOTB–you can message Jared on this site.. he always answers my emails to him. I don’t know if they would be able to get an interpreters for you but there is no harm in asking. Good Luck sweetie!
Yes, exactly! It is an event/ party that is hosted by the guys and believe me, I am VERY uncomfortable of the thought of asking the guys to get me interpreters. I don’t want them to feel that I’m being ungrateful for the fact that they responded to my concern about subtitles on their DVD. They made sure that all future DVDs will be captioned and I’m very happy and pleased that they took me seriously. I do not want them to feel that I’m going to be expecting or demand them to fulfill all of my needs. I do not expect them to do that but I will ask after I get a “No” from Carnival. If they say “No” I’ll be really disappointed and upset BUT I’m still going to go and make the most of it anyway. I even thought about maybe I could set up a “Go Fund Me” or something like that asking for donations so that I can get 2 interpreters (would be heaven if I could get 4 because interpreters do get tired interpreting non stop and their hands will be SO SORE signing all the time on the boat, so 2 is not enough for this trip, 4 or more is ideal.) Maybe I should start playing lottery and get lucky to afford interpreters then I don’t have to ask the guys to accommodate me. I paid a thousand dollars for 2 interpreters just for 5 hours on my wedding day in 2008. If my math is correct, so, IF the rate is the same as 2008, then 5hours = 1k,
4 days = 96 hours (lets round off to 100 hours),
4 days = 100 hours
100 hours/(divide) 5 hours = 20
20 thousands for 2 interpreters for 4 days! *Falling off chair* *whimpering*
Imagine paying 20k for 2 interpreters for 4 days plus their cruise tickets, luggage insurance and “medical” insurance. Good Lord! I wish I’m rich! Anybody willing to drive a get away car so I could rob a bank to afford these interpreters? *praying “God! Please please please have the Carnival folks say ‘Yes, we’ll accommodate you interpreters.’ Amen”* Pray for me too. Seriously. Double seriously. Triple seriously. Infinity seriously!

mrsdwahlbergjones- dont really know what to suggest, its a difficult situation, but im sure if you keep posting this one of the 2000 or odd people on that ship must be able to sign and im sure will be more than willing to help you! good luck xxx

BL1985- I hope everything works out for ya! If it doesn’t, I’m sure there’s at least one other BH that knows sign language and would be able to help you. It shouldn’t even be a problem or bothersome to them. What are sisters for? If I knew how to sign, I’d definitely help you out. Good luck!

This part of blog that may come off pessimistic BUT wait, please let me explain why I’m skeptical about having BHs “filling” me in while on the boat based on my personal experienceS (notice the captial S at the end) while growing up.

I HATE the feeling of having my family/friends to feel obligated or feel that they HAVE to fill me in because they have this fear of hurting my feelings or disappointing me BUT they do end up unintentionally disappoint me anyway.

I have been to enough events that some of them would make a long story really really short. Like in instance, if Joey talk for about 5 minutes, the person who is filling me in would say “he’s talking about his kids” and I’m like “and??????” then say “and???” the person feels annoyed and say “Oh its not that important! I’ll tell you about it later!” or the other person is laughing with tears, “Oh its not that funny.” and I say “why are you laughing hysterically if its not that funny?” “He’s talking about how terrified he got and dropped his pant when he saw a snake slithering in his path” “and????” “I told you its not that funny” and the person feels really annoyed and I feel annoyed too.

I just don’t want to make any of BH feel that way and I don’t want to feel that way too. The last thing I want to do is to make BH feel the need to avoid me so they don’t get trapped to “fill me in” or lose friends. I want to make friends and memories instead of not making friends or lose friends. This is why I want interpreters so everyone wins and everyone enjoys all at once and all at the same time.

If by miracle, the guys do decide to accommodate me with interpreters, believe me, I’m going to do this ONLY ONCE because I do not want to take advantage of them by going every years unless THEY INSISTS that its not a big deal then I will. If I were to go again in 2014, then I hope I have a job and be lucky enough to be able to have enough $$ saved up by then I WILL accommodate MYSELF.

One person sent me an inbox, I’d rather not to mention her name maybe its becasue she want to keep it private— I saw your blog and felt the need to write you personally instead of posting on the blog list…. I hope you can find some answers, but if not maybe you can find a friend to go with you. Also I don’t think fellow BH sistas would mind helping out deaf person. Also if you get no answers through these people you may want to check out Joe Mac’s site and see if you can contact his people because he has a disabled son, who happens to be deaf.
Also I let you go I am most likely going on the trip and I happen to be studying to be a ASL interpreter I’m not that proficient in it yet, but I could help ya out a lil if you do decide to go.

Good Luck.

I do not have many friends that are not deaf. I have about, maybe only 2 friends, that are fluent in ASL and are my friends. I have asked one of them if she was interested in going to the cruise. She said “Nah. I will go if the guys pay me to interpret for you.” and the other one is expecting a baby so she obviously can’t go so I didn’t bother asking her.

Asking Joey makes me feel REALLY uncomfortable because the last thing I want to do is to make him feel that I’m using him becasue of the fact that his son is hard of hearing. He is my favorite and I know that maybe he will be more sensitive and maybe accommodating than the others but I just feel like it is a bad taste to ask him. I mean, it is a group event so I’d rather to ask the guys as the group than just directly asking him via his labels. Do you understand my skepticism? Maybe I’m just being silly for feeling this uncomfortable. Its just the way I am.


Another person sent me DM saying she saw my blog and also my YouTube that I did for the 993 The Vibe YouTube contest to meet Jordan back in March (and Yes I won! 🙂 ) and she said she understood everything I said and that it seemed that I can hear quite well. Yes I can talk and yes I can hear a lot of things but I do not have the ability to understand everything that is going on with loud music blasting, folks laughing/talking surrounding me. I am a TERRIBLE lip reader! If you would like to understand me better, read this and if you still feel confused or not understanding anything, feel free to ask. I’ll try my best to explain it to you so you can understand me better. NO, I do not feel annoyed when folks ask me questions about my Deafness.
Thanks for reading my long assed blog(s). 😉

NKOTB Cruise 2013 Anxiety (Sign Language Interpreters Dilemma)

I know 2013 Cruise have not been announced but I’m early and I like to plan ahead.

I’m concerned because I want to go on the cruise but I’m Deaf and I do NOT want to bother my fellow BH (Blockheads) with “What are they saying?” “What is Joe saying?” “What’s so funny?” I don’t want to be looking around and see everyone laughing and I just smile wishing that I understood what they’re saying. I want to laugh when everyone laugh because I understand everything the guys are saying. So, my anxiety is, I’ve asked Rose Tours to see if they’ll accommodate me with sign language interpreters, they said “NO! And to contact the Carnivals” and I have emailed Carnival and I’m waiting to hear from them within 48 hours from this afternoon. The thing is that the Carnival is not US Based ship and they are not obligated to comply with the American Disability Acts to provide sign language interpreters. But they have accommodated some of Deaf/Hard of Hearing people with interpreters before just as a courtesy. I’m concerned because NKOTB is the one hosting this event and Carnival may say, “Sorry, you’ll have to tell NKOTB to accommodate you because they are the host.” I’m really nervous and uncomfortable with the possible fate of asking the guys to accommodate me. I’m worried that they may end up disappointing me. I do not ever want to be disappointed by the guys that I have come to love for so long time.

My husband and I was just brainstorming about ways to contact NKOTB if I end up have to contact them to accommodate me with the interpreters. My first thought is to inbox Jared (NKOTB management)  immediately via Block Nation inbox with emails  from the Rose Tours and the Carnival’s response and go from there. If I do not get positive result from Jared so who or how do I contact people that are above Jared? What email address can I write to? What mailing address should I use to mail the management about this? Or what phone number should I use to contact someone?

I hope I’m just being a worry wart and everything will be a smooth sailing for me!

This entry was posted on July 26, 2012. 2 Comments

This video describes my frustration perfectly—this may help you to understand. :)


I am writing this just to share my frustration and for you to understand where I’m coming from. 🙂 Read if you want or you can just ignore. Your choice. 🙂

Anyways, for so many years, the Deaf community has been so frustrated with limited access to understand any types of moving medias because the lack of captioning/subtitles. I know this guy (really cool & funny) in this video because we had several classes together at Gallaudet University.

So, after you’ve seen the video, imagine how I felt after the Coming Home DVD arrived after I pre-ordered it. I was dumbfounded when I tried the subtitles menu over and over again then suddenly realized that it wasn’t subtitled at all. I literally broke down and cried then I eventually got around to ask some of the blockheads on the free board to see if they could type up what was said on the DVD. 3 of the blockheads helped me out up until about 10 minutes left of the 1st DVD, they all stopped and didn’t finish the rest. So I have no idea what the rest of 10 minutes of that DVD and the 2nd DVD are all about. I have asked them several times if they could finish but they have been giving me run around so I decided not to bother them anymore because I didn’t want to make them feel obligated.

I shared this concern with Jordan at Fredericksburg pre-show party and he was genuinely surprised and assured me that he would make a note of it. I told him, “please” He said “I will make a note of it” He was serious and I saw the look in his eyes that he really did care.

I, of course, became worried again because Jordan was wrapping up with his unfinished tour and with the townhall meeting, and preparing for the European tour, he may forget so I had some of my twitter friends to re-tweet over and over and over again to reach someone to share my conern with the guys at the LA Townhall meeting and one of the blockheads did bring it up during the meeting. I still do not know who was that girl that brought it up at the meeting because I want to thank her personally. If any of you were there and know the girl, please have her contact me so I can thank her properly. And one of the blockheads, ddusbdame, wrote a blog about the LA townhall meeting. I have received several tweets from some of my twitter friends saying that the guys (NKOTB) said that it was a great idea and that their body language and actions showed that they liked this idea.

Now, my BIGGEST concern is, what if maybe some one in the management company may not take this seriously or may end up forgetting about it so then the next or the rest of future DVDs will not be subtitled. I’ll be so disappointed all over again.

Thanks for reading…

Just a Deaf gal lovin’ NK & a brief background about me.

I have met few of you blockheads and I was fortunate to be the YouTube contest winner for the 99.3 The Vibe radio station in Fredericksburg, VA and was blessed to meet Jordan recently on March 24th at the Brock’s Riverside Grille in Fredericksburg, VA. I then met him again the day after at his show in Fillmore Silver Spring. He’s the only one out of the 5 I have met. I plan on meeting the rest SOON, hopefully at the Mix Tape Festival (depends on the $$) or on the 2013 cruise or whatever. Basically, when the day comes, it WILL come. I have been patient, but damn, I’ve been patient for too long. When I get to meet the rest of the guys, I’ll be SO happy, but Joe, you better hold your eyeballs in because I’m gonna squeeze the heck out of you until your eyeballs pops out. Just kidding. 😀
Before I get into details about my NK experience and blah blah blah, I feel the need to give you a little background about myself so you can understand who I am and what my Deafness means to me. I am medically hard of hearing, people get confused when I say I’m Deaf and they always say, “..but you talk so clearly!” Sometimes, I am able to talk so clearly but sometimes I find it hard to talk clearly. It all depends on the situation and the environment I am in. I can hear quite well without hearing aids but I depends heavily on reading lyrics to know songs I’m listening to after enough time of repeated reading and listening I’ll enjoy it like you all do. I just got hearing aids recently in March for various reasons. I am not a good lip reader but sometimes, I surprise myself that I communicate just fine with my hearing peers, again, it depends on the situation and the environment I am in. While I am hard of hearing, I identify myself as a Deaf person because my parents are Deaf, my siblings are not but they are fluent wih ASL. I went to and graduated from Maryland School for the Deaf (MSD). About 95% of my friends are Deaf and I have very few friends who are hearing but they all can sign. I went to National Technical Insitute for the Deaf, one of 8 colleges on Rochester Insitute of Technology campus but then I transferred to RIT to enroll their Psychology program then changed my major to Social Work then I eventually left because I didn’t know exactly what I wanted to do. I also didn’t balance my social life and school work quite well either. 😉 I had several odd jobs until I started working at a group home called People Encouraging People, inc in Baltimore, MD as a daytime instructor working with group of Deaf adults that are mentally challenged. During that time, I felt like I was on the top of the world, living in an apartment all by myself, hosting parties at my place, going to clubs and all that. Then, oops, I got pregnant, luckily to a good man, so I decided I’d keep the baby. About a year and half later, I felt that it was time for me to go back to college. This time I went to Gallaudet University and I swore to myself that I would stay until I graduate. Few months after I returned to school, I realized the baby daddy at the time, my fiance, wasn’t the one for me, and I had to break it off with him. It was very tough because he was a very well-liked man in the Deaf community and a lot of people were so mad at me but I knew we both wouldn’t be happy if we stayed together. It was tough being a single mom, living with several roommates, then with my Deaf cousin, then with a roommate again. I dated a little bit when I was at Gallaudet until I got to know to Mark, my husband, that I knew from elementary school at MSD. At first, I thought he wasn’t my type and I brushed him off, he was so stubborn, and he pursued me for almost 2 years then finally he got to my heart. 🙂 Most of my heart anyways because I’ve still got some soft spot for Joe and always will. 😉 I don’t think Mark likes it but he always chuckle and shakes his head whenever I tease him by replacing him with Joe. Anyways, I graduated Gallaudet University in 2008 with BA in Sociology. By August 23rd later that year Mark and I got married and, we have 3 little kids together. My oldest daughter from my ex, Harmony, is 9 years old, my twins, Jayla and Evelyn, just turned 3 on April 29th, and Gabriella will be 2 in November. All girls and we do not plan on having any more babies. If you have questions about my Deafness or anything related to Deaf culture, please feel free to ask. I’m really open minded and I appreciate it when people ask questions rather than assuming they know and live with ignorance.
Now, about New Kids, I have been a fan for a very long time and most of my friends would roll their eyes whenever I talk about the guys, especially Joe, but they do not understand how important the guys are to me. I was 11 when I first learned about them and bought their debut album but it was when I was 12 that I became hardcore after watching Joe singing PDGG on Hangin’ Tough Live on VHS. That night I said to myself, “So, this is it? That’s what you feel when you fall in love?” I was all hot & flustered, my heart racing and my eyes glued to the TV as I couldn’t believe how beautiful Joe’s voice sounded and how seductive he was when he moved gracefully on that stage. Don’t get me wrong, becoming infaturated with Joe was not the only reason why I love the guys. Before I was 12 , I was skinny and felt unattractive then the puberty hits me at 12 , those love songs made me feel beautiful so then I blossomed, boys at school started to notice, and my confidence grew. *wink*
Then unfortunately, one of my brothers died because he was drinking and driving just 2 days before turning 27, NKOTB music helped me somehow as it kept me “busy”. Mariah Carey came along a little later, and she taught me about keeping faith and believing in yourself. Her songs often had fancy words in them and I remember opening my dictionary book looking through new words and try to understand what these words meant but sometimes the dictionary was not enough so I would look it up in the thesaurus.
My first New Kids concert was in 1994 when I was 16 years old. It was during the Face The Music tour in Baltimore, MD at Hammerjacks club, the original one before it got torn down to build the Ravens stadium. I remember feeling excited and anxious because i didn’t know what to expect. That night when my friend and I arrived, we had no idea what the general admission meant, so we waited in the line and when we finally got to the door, the bouncer took batteries out of my camera and said “Sorry no pictures. They want you to buy their pictures”. I was surprised and I felt disgusted then he said “I know, Its stupid.” I was disappointed because I wanted to take pictures and when I got inside. I became even more disappointed as I suddenly realized that we were going to be all the way in the back. I decided that there has to be a way to get close to the stage then I apprached a female bartender at the bar and I wrote a bullcrap story on a paper saying I have been to 15 of NK concerts and I have always been so close to the stage and that my friends and I are Deaf and we can’t see the stage, blah blah blah. The bartender felt bad for us so she said maybe she could get us backstage pass and we were hopeful. As soon as she returned, she pulled us and put us in the VIP section on the right side of the stage. One of the bodyguards argued with her and told her that we can’t be there but she insisted that we were Deaf and that we should be there. The bodyguard moved us close to the speaker and he said “here, put your ears on the speaker” I told him, ” I can’t even see the stage because that speaker is blocking our view!” so he moved us back to the VIP area. When the guys came on, I was surprised to see only 4 instead of 5. I asked one of the dancer’s mom where Jon was and she said that Jon had broke his back from falling off of the horse. I could see the guys on the right side of their face as they faced the stage. I was not exactly happy but it was so much better than standing back in the room. About half way through the concert, Jordan came to us but he was talking to that dancer’s mom, he saw us and he was puzzled because he had no idea who we were. My friend told me to say HI but I quickly said “thats not allowed”. The reason why my friend challenged me to say HI was because I had been telling a lot of tall tales about me being friends with NK and had a romantic relationship with Joe. Oops. BIG EMBARRASSING MISTAKE because I lost SO many friends and was always blamed for starting new rumors in middle and high school. I learned so much from that mistake and glad that I learned the hard way before I went to college.
When the guys broke up, I was disappointed and then somehow I found out that Joe was releasing his solo album, I bought it and I LOVED it. I spent some time on his website’s forum but there was way too much drama, WOW, that I lost interest spending my time there. My username was RoseBeFly, I thnk, I can’t remember. While I was actively participating in that forum, I met two girls from the website and agreed to meet them in Syracuse, NY and 3 of us went to Boston for his New Years Eve show at Paradise Rock Cafe in 1999. I had a blast and I was grateful that I knew the words to all of his songs, and I had no idea what he was saying when he sang songs that was not on the album or whenever he talked. While he was taking a short break at his show, the 2 girls insisted that I give Joe’s birthday cards to his father and I remember thinking, DAMN, Why didn’t I get a card for him?! But, I managed to give it to his dad and he started talking to me buI couldn’t understand him so I told him that I was Deaf. He looked down at me looking puzzled so I waved “bye” to him and he nodded, smiled and waved back as I returned to my friends. At the end of the show, as Joe was saying good byes, he reached out to girls’ hands I remember reaching out for him, and I got frustrated and yelled “JOEY!!” He heard me and reached for my hand but someone from behind me pushed me so I turned to look, as I felt his hand, I quickly turned to look at him, he was already looking away then he walked away. I remember thinking, OH DAMN! I turned to look at the girl behind me with an evil eye and she said “I’m so sorry!”
In 2008, I remember writing one of my final term papers and I got so tired of writing, it was around 1am or something that I decided to go on Joe’s website and I was surfing around. I realized that not much has changed since 1999/2000 but I was surprised to know that he had already been married and had a kid. I knew he and Nina had broke it off in 2000 because I learned about it on his forum. I was so focused with my life, school & daughter. I had his 2nd CD and I rarely played it because I didnt have much time reading lyrics to his songs so I didnt know his songs to his 2nd CD as well as I did with his first one. Few) days later, I went back to his website because I wanted to look through pictures, but I became confused that his website was not there and something told me to go to NKOTB’s website and I saw that there was a TV displaying static on screen, I suddenly realized that maybe NKOTB is getting back together. I immediately became hopeful and excited, I started to collect more clues online and started to find more evidences that they’re getting back together. I became overjoyed that I frantically ran to Mark and told him what was happening. He said, “New Kids on the Block? WHO?!” I basically gave him a crash course on who they were and told him about my crush on Joe and etc.
I watched them performing for the first time together on Good Morning America on TV. I remember thinking that it was surreal. I got to see them in concert in Washington, DC in October 2008 (few days after I found out that I was pregnant) and then again in Nov 2008 in New Jersey (few days after I found out that I was carrying twins), saw them again in May 28, 2010 in New Jersey (pregnant again with baby #4) and again on June 3rd, 2011 in DC, I got teary eyed when Joey got very emotional as he sang PDGG. I remember thinking, man, poor Joe, he is away from home, he just had a baby girl!!! As the guys were saying good bye that night, Danny saw me in the crowd as I waved both of my arms, trying to get Joe’s attention but Danny pointed to me and said “I see you.” I thought to myself, oh well, at least Danny saw me.
Well, that wraps it up. 🙂

~Rose @Moonlitcatz
p.s. if you need clarification on anything I wrote, please ask. I know I do not have the best grammar but this is how I do it. 🙂